Have you ever asked yourself, what is your biggest fear? Maybe your worries have changed along your life path. They could have started in your childhood, the fear of the dark, monsters, losing a parent? Then later, it could be the fear of being judged by others, fear of failure, fear of lacking something or someone? The fear of not being good enough?

Fear starts in your head, in your mind and in your intellect. When we live in fear we actually prevent ourselves from connecting to love.

Yes, you are somewhat in a state of Love or in a state of fear. But, of course, the discipline of the mind is needed to allow you to take the fear down when it comes up. Note that experiencing fear is ok and healthy; however, acting upon it isn’t.

So, ask yourself, what is my more significant fear? Where did it start? What happened to me? Why did I create this state of mind around it? Did this happen in my childhood? Or maybe later on in life? With my friends? My parents? A teacher or a partner? A colleague or a boss?

Learning to connect to the fear is good for you, as it is this connection that will allow you to grow, to understand the fear and become ok with it. When you take the time to hear your fear and accept it, you have accessed the possibility of releasing it and letting it go for something greater: LOVE.

Then you ask, what is Love? It is an excellent question. In my world, Love is a need, a basic human need. Yes! Love is an essential biological need (you can refer to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs). It is now well known that we humans have this innate ability to connect to ourselves and others. Connecting deeply with yourself will allow a deeper bond with others. It is easier to love others when you have found yourself (who am I?) as this will all become natural and will not require much effort. In my world, this is called unconditional Love. Regardless of what is happening, you feel and experience the Love in your heart, and nothing can turn this off anymore as you have reached that higher state. Yes, you will still experience unpleasant feelings at times (it’s life); however, Love always wins if you let it.

This being said, you can still share the Love with others without genuinely loving yourself (due to past experiences and traumas, we sometimes lose that connection with ourselves. We can get it back when we are ready); however, the level of Love will be different. As the relationship with other will come from a desire to do good and be connected (mental thought) and not from “being love” (heart experience).

Research has shown in the past that babies who are deprived of contact comfort, particularly during the first six months after they are born, grow up to be psychologically damaged. These studies proved how much human beings are interconnected through Love. Love is more vital than fear, and if you take that opportunity to go on this journey, your worries will slowly fade away as Love will prevent in any situation, even when feeling hurt, in pain, or experiencing a trauma.

Love is that inner state of peace and tranquillity in your heart and head, a deep sense of calm and fulfilment, knowing within you that the now is to be embraced and cherished right at this moment. To access this higher state of consciousness, an emotional journey is essential. An invitation to look within to check if my body and mind hold any negative emotional attachment that I could have developed in the past (childhood, teenage years, young adult life, any partnership or relationship, friendship…) is wise. If so, I have the responsibility to learn to release them and let go of any past pain, to free oneself from this past conditioning, pain, and sufferings so I can look at it again with serenity and peace. I don’t forget, I forgive myself and others, and I can finally let it go… When I think about it, I don’t feel any more negativity; I am free!

I have learned to dissociate the person from their behaviours; I do not accept the behaviours, only forgive the person to reconnect with my heart. As we are all born with the ability to do good and share Love, just sometimes we can get carried away with the hurt.

It is the only road toward unconditional Love. It can be bumpy and challenging yet rewarding. Keep the bigger picture in your mind that there is the light at the end of this road. You can reach it; only you can decide to choose to take this path!

Do it as you are capable. Surround yourself with professional support if needed, so you are guided and develop new skills and muscles in yourself that will ease this adventure for the best.

Love vs feeling in Love….

I would like to mention that LOVE is different from the feeling of being in Love. Indeed, Love is a constant inner need, while being in love is a feeling. Feelings are not constant; they come and go. They are here to tell you what is happening inside of you so you can pay attention and do something about it. So when it is a positive feeling such as Love, embrace it, celebrate it, enjoy it while it lasts. As soon as you are going through a negative moment, event, or situation, your body will inform you by giving you a feeling following your thoughts. And your thoughts are your perception of reality, based on your past experiences.

In other words, you can’t feel happy and sad at the same time. So, you are rather feeling in Love or out of Love. You wake up next to your partner in the morning and say good morning followed by a kiss; you are then feeling in Love with that person. Then you arrive at work, and your boss is having a go at you regarding your work, you fall out of Love as you are now stressed, anxious and maybe upset…

Feelings come and go; this is reality. They are not good or bad, just indicating what is happening inside you. So please learn to connect with them. When they are positive feelings, embrace them, cultivate them and be thankful for them! And when they are negative, acknowledge them, let them be, so they don’t stay, do not hold onto them as they could take control over you. We do not want to become a victim of the negative feelings—the unfortunate road towards disconnection & depression.

Well, Love vs Fear, really it’s up to you!

Tell me, what do you choose?

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"Our life experiences have a profound impact on our identity, but with the brain's remarkable ability to change and adapt, we can reshape ourselves and become the person we aspire to be."

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