Life is a constant game of choices. Some of these decisions are small—like what to eat for breakfast (even if we sometimes overthink that, too!). Others feel monumental, like choosing a career path, moving to a new country, or making the decision to leave something behind. We often assume that as adults, we should always have it all figured out, but sometimes, let’s be real, it feels like we’re stuck on a path we didn’t choose, grappling with circumstances that weren’t in the “plan.”
Here’s where things get interesting. It’s incredibly tempting to play the blame game when life throws us curveballs. We’re human, after all. It’s so much easier to point fingers – to blame a boss for making our job unbearable, a friend for giving bad advice, or even just the universe for conspiring against us. But the real plot twist?
When we start denying our responsibility or shift the blame to someone else, we’re actually giving away our power. Yup.
The keys to our happiness, confidence, and control are suddenly in someone else’s hands. And that? That’s when life can start feeling heavy and out of control.
Think about it: if you hand over responsibility for your choices to someone or something outside of yourself, you lose control. And without control over your life, how can you truly be happy? The tricky part is, this doesn’t always feel obvious. It can sneak up on us in the form of self-pity or victimhood. Slowly, the frustration sets in, and before we know it, we’re caught in a cycle that leaves us feeling powerless and even stuck in low-level depression.
But what if we flipped the script? What if, instead of blaming others, we took full responsibility for our actions, words, thoughts, and feelings? Spoiler alert: that’s where the magic happens. Taking ownership over your life doesn’t mean pretending everything’s perfect or that tough situations don’t hurt. No, it means recognising that you’re in charge. You steer the ship, and you decide how you respond to the waves, no matter how high or rough they get.
Sure, taking responsibility isn’t always easy. Sometimes, it’s downright difficult. But what if doing so allowed you to grow stronger, feel more fulfilled, and build the life you truly want? And here’s a kicker—what if you could still have all the feels along the way?
Yes, those feelings are part of the process. Taking responsibility and having emotions—whether they’re positive or negative—are two separate things. It’s perfectly okay to feel something deeply about a choice you made, even if it was the “right” one.
Let me give you an example:
For instance, I recently returned from a trip to Europe to visit my family, something I do every two years. Each time, I’m reminded of the choice I made nearly 15 years ago to immigrate to Australia. While I’ve always felt this was the right decision for me, my heart feels heavy each time I say goodbye to my family and return to Perth. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to come home, fall back into my routine, and embrace the healthy lifestyle I’ve built (goodbye daily croissants and baguettes!). But the sadness of leaving my loved ones behind still surfaces. In those moments, I choose to acknowledge and release that sadness.
These emotions are simply the natural consequence of my decision to live far from my family and childhood friends. Life is full of opportunities to make choices—some can be scary because they stir up powerful, unpleasant emotions. Yet, these choices are often the very ones that lead us toward greater happiness and personal growth. I have never regretted my choice to live abroad, even as sadness continues to knock on my door.
And that’s what taking responsibility looks like. It’s about owning the decision you made, even when it doesn’t feel perfect. It’s about understanding that feelings are temporary and that we can choose how long we want to hold onto them. I could wallow in sadness over missing my family, or I can choose to embrace the love and memories we created while also looking forward to the next time I see them. It’s all a matter of perspective and ownership.
The bottom line? We all have the power to make choices, but it’s how we respond to those choices—and the emotions that follow—that determine whether we thrive or stay stuck. Life is full of opportunities to choose, and not all of them will feel great at the moment. Some decisions, even if they’re right for us, will come with a side of discomfort, sadness, or uncertainty. And guess what? That’s okay. Those feelings are part of the human experience. What matters most is that you don’t give up your power by blaming others or denying responsibility.
Instead, Own it. Own every decision, every word, and every action.
When you step into that place of responsibility, you’ll find yourself growing stronger and more fulfilled, with a deeper understanding of who you are and what you want out of life. And best of all? You’ll realise that no matter what happens, YOU have the power to shape your future and create a life that feels good to YOU. You’re the master of your destiny—feelings and all.
Much Love,
Claire
